We've all been burned before. You know what it's like...that feeling that starts in your stomach and slowly works its way to your beet-red face. That feeling that if you don't say or do something about it, your head will DEFINITELY explode from all the steam build-up. Maybe it was your best friend that wronged you. Maybe it was a "significant other". Or maybe you felt like your mom or dad were unfair about an issue. This is one area of our emotions that is very hard to control, but one that can be prevented very early...and yes, it's very possible!
Self-Centered Statement:
"I'm so mad at this person. I'll never be able to forgive him/her."
This person wronged me! They didn't even consider my feelings! They've gone too far...the damage can never be undone! I have a right to defend myself to others so they know what really happened! I just can't forgive them! ...Right? Let's shine some truth on these out-of-control angry statements...
"Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise." - Luke 6:28, 31
"Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil." - Eph. 4:26-27
"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." - Eph. 4:32
"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." - Matt. 6:14-15
Get the picture yet? Forgiveness is the key. I know it's hard...TRUST me, I KNOW IT'S HARD! Ask yourself this question: "Who am I to decide who receives forgiveness for their wrongs? Did Jesus not die for EVERYONE...even this person who hurt me?" It's absolutely necessary that you forgive whoever wronged you...not only for them, but for yourself.
God-Centered Statement:
"I need to live like Christ and forgive others...just like Christ forgave me."
Now let's shine some more light on another out-of-control statement...
Self-Centered Statement:
"I deserve to be angry. I have a right to express my feelings!"
It's a fact of life that you will experience anger. It's what you DO with that anger that really defines what kind of person you are...or more importantly, what kind of Christian you are. Let's look at the wisdom of Solomon:
"He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction." - Prov. 13:3
When you are in a situation where you find yourself getting angry, it's best not to say anything! Anything that you say while you're angry will come directly from that emotion and will destroy and cut down the person for whom it was intended. Yeah, if you're angry you may be thinking, "Well, isn't that the whole point?!?!" You need to cool down and remember that "a soft answer turneth away wrath: but grevious words stir up anger" (Prov. 15:1). Your words have the power to make or break a situation, as well as make or break a relationship. Look at these other verses...
"...the words of the pure are pleasant words." - Prov. 15:26
"The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things." - Prov. 15:28
"He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city." - Prov. 16:32
We cannot be the image of Christ if we are backbiting, yelling, and arguing. Christ never "expressed his feelings" or harbored any kind of resentment, bitterness, or anger towards those that put Him on the cross. And if anyone had a "right" to stand up for himself, it was definitely Him! We need to follow His example and portray His character in our lives at all times, no matter the circumstance.
God-Centered Statement:
"I need to control my anger and my words at all times. Christ payed far too great of a price for me to harbor any bitterness or anger towards anyone."
Let Christ heal the hurt and choose the way of forgiveness. Your emotions will not change right away, but over time (with prayer and study of the Word) God will heal your heart and free you from this bondage!
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit." - Gal. 6:22-23, 25
In Christian Love,
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